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New Parents and their Worries & Doubts
Parenting is a noble duty. It is not like a walk in a park as we see it commercially. It is like a ride on a roller coaster with so many ups and downs. Until we experience it ourselves, we cannot get the true essence of it. Being a parent for the first time is a devasting change. Your life changes totally with new routine, new responsibilities and duties. As new parents you will be having worries and doubts about your parenting and the baby. It deals with so many emotions and depression.
So here, we have some enlightening words for you. To motivate you. To chase away the guilt you have. To make you feel okay. To let you know that many are on your boat as well. To let you know that you are doing the right thing. To say that having a time for you is important as giving your time for others.
It is all about one understanding mother lending her shoulder to the other. Sharing their experiences.
It’s Okay to Feel Like This
This writing is to let you know that, having a break from your routine is totally fine and you need time to refill yourself. Enjoy and feel good.
Some days all u want is not to do anything, you literally may not want to do anything.
You don’t want to engage with your kids.
You don’t want to make meals for your family.
You don’t want to parent your kids.
You don’t want to do your wife duties.
You don’t want to do anything but scroll your device up and down.
However, this won’t be all the time. You will not have this swing always. But sometimes your mind and body need a break and they’ll start showing it to you.
Your body will show it in different ways.
Sometimes there will be a foot ache that won’t go without resting.
Or a headache that reminds you to drink water and calm yourself down.
Your mind also will show this with forgotten words and tasks which we usually call “mummy brain”.
Why not lack of patience when you are full with your workload?
You must be running empty and surviving in fumes. So, you can’t be the mother, wife, or literally a human at times.
Last but not least, you just don’t want to. That thought is what making you rest. That makes you take the must needed break even if your kids destroy the house while you do.
So sometimes when you don’t want to do anything, please don’t do.
Recharge yourself. Give your body and mind the rest they needed.
Refill your tank and come back stronger.
Because you are important. For you and others.
Why Do Mother’s Yell?
We see this happen in our houses. Though it’s not daily, it happens, right? Why does it happen? Have you ever thought of it yourself? You might have and found the answer as well. But this happens everywhere too. Not only you. Let us face it together. See deeper about our emotions.
Why do we yell? Because we are overwhelmed and no one around us is trying to listen to us.
We see our kids are into some mischief and about to get hurt. So, one yell would stop it right away.
We are stressed with the load of mess around and it’s only ourselves who are cleaning it around.
We yell when our charge is getting down doing chores around.
But then after we do, the immense guilt we have is so painful. We literally break down into tears.
Truly, we also don’t want to get to that and face something like that and hate it. But it happens more than we would like to accept.
You may think, are all mothers angry all the time and that’s why they yell.
No, we don’t wake up for that.
Sometimes we lose ourselves and find parenting hard.
We have so much anxiety and nowhere to let it out.
We are exhausted and running on low battery charge, so we lose ourselves.
We need more than a good night’s sleep. Un-interrupted.
We need a break; we are tired doing too much.
Moreover, we need appreciation, to boost ourselves.
Just because we lose doesn’t make us bad parents. We are the humans who care for our children on top of every other thing in the world. We want them to achieve and be safe. So, we battle with our thoughts and bring out the frustration.
We don’t want them to be seen as undisciplined little lives. So, we yell.
We try stopping them from hurting each other. So, we have to yell in fear and to prevent them from doing it to other outsiders.
We care and think so much for them. So, end p yelling at them.
Then of course we lose it…
You are not alone in this. Losing it and feeling bad comes like a package. Every parent struggle with this. We are human and parenting is not an easy job. We cannot stay calm too longer. We differ, we may take different times.
If that happens a day, that is you for that day and not every day.
Grace yourself and apologize for losing it.
You can be better next time. This shall pass.
You are still a good mother.
When Do Mothers Find Time?
A mother is a person who works 24/7 with no vacation. Her duty continues throughout her life. Together with other responsibilities, parenting tops her to-do lists all the time. It is hard that she finds a time for herself. Time is something valuable. It is important for her to give her some time with all the chores around.
To clean the house,
load the dishwasher,
to do the laundry,
to clean the mess of toys,
to check on the pantry to note down the to-buy list,
to prepare meals,
to organize the bills and appointments,
to sit relaxed without little human beings around,
to scroll through social media to see her favorite gossips, memes, reels and to know what’s happening outside her word,
to spend time with her partner, eating dinner together, talking about their day,
She finds it all at night.
After the tiny beings she brought into this world are being tucked up in their beds and sleep, her day begins.
It is when she does everything with no distractions.
She finds that time magical. Either it is 10 hours or 1 hour.
They are the reason for the mother to have complains about not getting enough sleep and tired eyes. Because her day begins at night. But they are the ones which keeps her going too.
This quiet, magical time is important for her.
To do something for her passion,
To enjoy a movie,
To have conversations,
To do many other things she like.
Because this is the time, she re-charges herself to continue burning fuels for the next day and the clock cycle continues.
To experience these things as a mother or parent is normal. We all go through it. You are doing your best and you are the best always in the eyes of your kids. Keep smiling.
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