I hate parenting with my husband. And I am sure many can relate with me. Parenting is so much easier when we are the sole administrators.
Conflict happens when two parents of opposing ideologies clash. Parents fight with each other and tend to take it out on their kids.
Most mothers hate parenting with their husbands either because they are aggressive or insensitive to the needs of their children. But mine is the opposite.
Contents
Why I Hate Parenting with My Husband
1. He spoils them
My husband says kids are meant to be spoilt. Kids are kids only once in their lives. But I don’t agree. Spoiling kids only makes life difficult for everyone around us. So I make sure I refuse almost everything they ask for unless they absolutely need it.
My husband sees me as extreme. So everything I refuse finds its way into the house secretly. When my kids need extra toys and sweets, they know who to go to.
I was brought up in an Asian household. So typically, I believe in bringing up kids to understand the value of money. I think kids should know how hard it is to earn money. Money is for essentials and not meant to be squandered.
Because of my husband, my kids think money comes free from the bank.
2. He can’t control his temper
I can’t deny that he is a loving and well-meaning father, but there are instances when he loses his temper. We have agreed on practicing gentle parenting concepts as much as possible, but he forgets this as soon as he’s angry.
Luckily, my kids know what happens when their father loses his temper and are very clever at keeping out of his way. They come scampering to me for sanctuary.
3. He wakes sleeping babies
He is a working dad, and I am a stay-at-home mom who is also working online. So he just does not understand or value the few moments of peace and quiet I get to sit down and put my feet up.
When the husband comes home from work, he is overcome by the sweetness of a sleeping baby. And voila!
While I tiptoe around the sleeping baby, making sure nothing can wake her up, the husband is as noisy as possible. He also makes it a point to plant a big sloppy kiss on the cheek, and the baby is awake!
4. He sleeps like a baby.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but a sleeping husband is just annoying. I spend all day taking care of the kids, cooking and cleaning for them, and I don’t even get to sleep at night.
When the baby is awake, and I am tired to death, there is the husband snoring peacefully awake.
I end up waking the poor man up from his sleep and handing over the baby or spending the night fuming at the unfairness of life.
He does help me with the baby chores, to be fair. But it’s just the sleep he refuses to share.
5. The kids love him
Of course, I am happy that the kids love my spouse. But they should love me more! Aren’t I the one who almost died giving birth to them, breastfed them all night, and, well, just mothered them?
But the ungrateful kids just turn around and love their dad to bits. Not that they don’t love me. But I come second. Always. (sigh) Parenting is a thankless job!
6. He is messy
The kids have a lot of fun when Mamma needs time out and Dad is the one babysitting. But that just means overtime work for me when I get back.
The house is a complete mess. He lets them paint everywhere. There is food all over. The kids are not washed and cleaned. They are all very flushed and happy. But the mess is a monster!
7. He gives them junk
My husband does not share the same sentiments as I have about feeding my kids only organic and healthy food. To him, it’s just not worthwhile to let the children go hungry if they refuse to eat greens.
The kids know very well that Dad would buy them nuggets and fries instead. And all my efforts to instill healthy eating practices are futile.
This really makes me very angry because I value the health of kids more than anything. According to my husband, kids are not going to die from eating junk once in a while. True. But the taste of junk food can be addictive. And they are not going to eat healthy when they know there is another better-tasting alternative available.
8. Excessive screen-time
This is something we disagree a lot about too. I limit screen time to a maximum of half an hour a day so that I can use the washroom without the youngest bawling her lungs out.
But my husband turns on the Television whenever he is tired and needs a rest. And needless to say, the minutes extend to hours, and my toddlers are glued to the abominable coco melon concoctions that are designed to ruin baby brains!
Why I hate parenting with my husband: Conclusion
Ideologies and parenting methods differ, which leads to a lot of conflicts. Children tend to be caught in-between warring personalities, either creating confusion or traumatizing them.
I agree that husbands, too, have the right to make important parenting decisions and bring kids up the way they want, but sometimes when it is the health and well-being of the kids that is concerned, I just can’t give in. parenting is a tough task, and I intend to fight through to get it done the best way possible.
Also read: What I like about the New Yorker Gentle parenting article by Jessica White.
*All pics are taken from Unsplash.com
